I Can't Stop Laughing!

Having recently been required to "dress up" (here in Maine that means you have to leave your LL Bean boots at home) for an evening dinner party, I succumbed to vanity and purchased yet another Spanx. Before doing so, I decided to reread a post I wrote back in 2014 about my very first "Spanx" experience and why it didn't seem to work out. Aha!!! Back then I had purchased a two-piece Spanx ensemble that kept coming apart in all the wrong places. This time, I decided, I'll be smart and purchase a little (literally!) one-piece number.

Here it is!

Before I tell you how Spanx worked out for me this time, take a minute to read about my 2014 experience so you'll understand where I'm coming from . . .

October 13, 2014

     10 Tips for Dancing In Spanx

Do you wear Spanx???

We just returned from a beautiful wedding on Cape Cod and since I had to get into this knit dress...

I decided to expand (poor choice of words?) my selection of body armor undergarments by purchasing some Spanx for the occasion . Two pieces of Spanx actually . . . a top to "smooth out" my  tummy and waist . . .

And a "bottom" to contain . . . well, my bottom.

After I squeezed into those two pieces, I realized that you could see through the knit dress so I added a half-slip.

Once all of these layers, were in place, I have to admit, the dress looked pretty good. So off to the wedding DH and I went. That was when I realized that there is more to successfully wearing Spanx than Oprah would have you believe.

The ceremony and dinner went fine; I was sitting still. The reception, however, was another story. Dancing required frequent trips to the ladies' room to fine tune the Spanx. With each of my ridiculous retro dance moves the top half of the Spanx went up while the bottom worked its way down. End result? Total exposure of tummy section I was trying to hide. And the half-slip? Forgetaboutit. It ended up in my purse!

photo courtesy of Vintage Style Files

Here's what I learned the hard way:

10 Tips for Dancing In Spanx

1. When the DJ yells, "Let's Get Down!", don't do it!

2. Don't even consider trying to "Move Like Jagger".

3. During "Twist & Shout", don't try to see how low you can go. In fact, don't do the twist at all or your layers of Spanx will end up, well . . .  twisted.

4. When you are wearing multiple layers of Spanx and friends ask if you remember how to do the Swim, say "No"!

5. Don't try to keep up with the dance moves of  crazy BFF Karen while wearing Spanx.

6. When you're slow-dancing to a favorite oldie and start to feel all fluttery, it's probably just your Spanx coming loose.

7. When leaving the ladies' room, make sure all of your supporting layers are tucked  INSIDE your dress.

8. When you think your partner just said, "Thanx for the dance", consider that he may actually have just whispered, "Your Spanx are askance".

9. Stick to slow dances and your Spanx will thank you.

And finally . . .

10. When the band plays "Let's Stay Together" by Al Green, try not to take it personally.

While I was rereading that old post, I got laughing so hard I almost spit out my diet Coke!

Seems I'll never learn.

Anyway, on the evening of this cocktail party, I thought I was well-prepared. I had the Spanx. I had the shoes. I had the dress. But . . . it was the hottest evening we've had here in Maine so far this summer - 93 degrees and muggy. As I struggled into my tiny new one-piece Spanx, the sweat was pouring off my brow. By the time I did my make-up and reached for the dress, I was damp all over. So . . .

I gave up.

I ripped off the Spanx, threw it on the bed, and wore this dress instead. (I think the reason they call this a "swing dress" is because you can actually move in it without Spanx!).  Note: I hardly had to hold in my stomach at all in this little number.

DH and I had a great time at the party and I've think I've finally learned my lesson:  No more Spanx! From now on, I'm just going to accept my bulges and dress with the inner layer "au natural"!

If you've figured out a way to survive an evening in Spanx, I'd love to hear about it!  Meantime . . .

It's all good,

This post is linked to:

Inspire Me Tuesday #432 at A Stroll Through Life

Amaze Me Monday at Dwellings

Feathered Nest Friday at French Country Cottage

Sundays at Home at Little Farmstead

10 Tips for Dancing In Spanx

Do you wear Spanx???

We just returned from a beautiful wedding on Cape Cod and since I had to get into this knit dress...

 
I decided to expand (poor choice of words?) my selection of body armor undergarments by purchasing some Spanx for the occasion . Two pieces of Spanx actually . . . a top to "smooth out" my  tummy and waist . . .

And a "bottom" to contain . . . well, my bottom.

After I squeezed into those two pieces, I realized that you could see through the knit dress so I added a half-slip.

Once all of these layers, were in place, I have to admit, the dress looked pretty good. So off to the wedding DH and I went. That was when I realized that there is more to successfully wearing Spanx than Oprah would have you believe.

The ceremony and dinner went fine; I was sitting still. The reception, however, was another story. Dancing required frequent trips to the ladies' room to fine tune the Spanx. With each of my ridiculous retro dance moves the top half of the Spanx went up while the bottom worked its way down. End result? Total exposure of tummy section I was trying to hide. And the half-slip? Forgetaboutit. It ended up in my purse!

photo courtesy of Vintage Style Files

Here's what I learned the hard way:

10 Tips for Dancing In Spanx

1. When the DJ yells, "Let's Get Down!", don't do it!

2. Don't even consider trying to "Move Like Jagger".

3. During "Twist & Shout", don't try to see how low you can go. In fact, don't do the twist at all or your layers of Spanx will end up, well . . .  twisted.

4. When you are wearing multiple layers of Spanx and friends ask if you remember how to do the Swim, say "No"!

5. Don't try to keep up with the dance moves of  crazy BFF Karen while wearing Spanx.

6. When you're slow-dancing to a favorite oldie and start to feel all fluttery, it's probably just your Spanx coming loose.

7. When leaving the ladies' room, make sure all of your supporting layers are tucked  INSIDE your dress.

8. When you think your partner just said, "Thanx for the dance", consider that he may actually have just whispered, "Your Spanx are askance".

9. Stick to slow dances and your Spanx will thank you.

And finally . . .

10. When the band plays "Let's Stay Together" by Al Green, try not to take it personally.

Just for the fun of it, this post is linked to:

Show & Share at Coastal Charm
Nifty Thrifty Sunday at Nifty Thrifty Things

Show & Tell Friday at My Romantic Home

5 (Wishful) Signs of Spring in Maine

1. Flowers are blooming.

Unfortunately, this Spring it's still so cold that they're either "faux"...


or felted.

 

2. The song birds are back.

In my March 11th post about Cardinals, I wondered where the birds were. Well, it's two weeks later and I'm happy to report that they've found  our new feeder. We're being visited by blue birds, cardinals, chickadees., and ...

even some felted birds.

  

 3. New  deck chairs are stacked and ready.

Needless to say, they'll have to wait in the garage...

 

...until the last foot of snow finally melts off of our deck. 

 

 

4. The camper comes out of storage next week.

 

 

Only  45  more days until our first trip to Searsport Shores in the little Casita!

5.  I rearranged my closet.

I just reorganized my seasonal clothes, changed purses (deep orange to bright, happy turquoise), moved the sandals to the front of the shoe rack, and ...

treated myself to a pair tropical coral ballet flats. 

 Hope springs eternal...in my closet at least!

Do you switch your closet around with the seasons?

Now if it would just get above 19 degrees so I can put the LL Bean boots away!

 

 

"It's spring fever.  That is what the name of it is.  And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!" 

~Mark Twain

 

 

 

Spring Fever? I've got it  bad...how about you?

Is it Spring yet where you live?

 
p.s.  Snow showers predicted for tomorrow...will it ever end???

8 Fashion Mistakes???

According to the style section of the Huffington Post, there are 8 Fashion Mistakes That Instantly Age You.  Whew! Only 8???

 

 I think I may be making all of them at the same time.

 

Here goes:

 

1. I'll-fitting bras.

" The right bra size can instantly lift and smooth you, giving you a flattering silhouette from the get-go."

 

This recent photo (at St. Augustine beach in December!) is a two-fer... I'm demonstrating mistakes #1 and #2 in the very same picture!

 

2. Cropped, ill-fitting capris.

"Think Audrey Hepburn or Jackie O. While wide-leg, full-length pants are flattering, wide capri-length pants can cut off the leg line and make you look more stumpy than stunning. Try a pair of capris that has a narrow opening and just grazes the top of ankle – tres chic."

 

 

 Jackie O.? Audrey Hepburn? Tres chic?

Je ne sais pas!

 

3. Twin Sets.
"We know, we know—twin sets are easy and cover your arms. But these days matchy-matchy equals a major snooze-fest."

 Shoot...and I just bought these last winter.

"Oh, and it's time to lose the coordinating scarf, too!"

How did they know???

 

4. Jersey Fabrics.

"But when you're shopping for a special occasion, avoid wearing this thin, clingy fabric; it naturally hugs the body, not always highlighting our best assets."

 

Busted!

 



5.  Always wearing black pants.

"Try trading in your safe (read: boring) slacks for a shimmering skirt that you can dress up or down depending on what you decide to wear on top. You’ll look instantly refreshed."

 

 Do black jeans count?

6. Overly sensible shoes.

 

You mean like these???

 

"With a kitten heel you'll feel stylish and comfortable."

 

Sorry, Huff Post, but here's as close as I come to a kitten heel.

 

 

7. So-called "granny" glasses.

 

"Avoid the classic stereotype of a granny with kooky reading glasses dangling on strings from her turtleneck. Instead embrace the sexy age of geek chic. Opt for thicker, Ernest Hemingway-style frames and leave the delicate wire-frames or rimless frames behind."

 

Before...

 

After???

 

 

8. Missing out on tech accessories.

 

"Let your electronics play up your personality by accessorizing them with patterned cases and covers."

 

A recent photo of my tech accessories.

 

 

Next Up?  "Top 5 Fashion Mistakes That Age You"  (You're going to love this one!!)

 

So...I was 8 for 8 on this list, which means that I must look like I'm 102!

 

How did you do???

 

 

I Think I'm In Love...

With a pair of shoes???

Forget the old jokes about women and shoes...I never understood them...until I got these!!!

Yup...it's love...crazy, shallow, not-me-at-all shoe love.

 

Be still my heart!