Let's Talk: Mammograms, Cancer & Abortion

Today I took my 43-year-old special needs daughter for her first Mammogram. I know that I was a lot more nervous than she was.

My daughter with mammographer Caroline and her helper Maggie.

"Mommy" went first to show her that it "didn't hurt".

And when it was her turn, my daughter was a trooper (as was the mammographer!).

We're both ready!

I bring this up as a gentle reminder to my all of my blog friends to be sure to stay up to date with your mammograms and wellness visits to your gyn. or primary care doctor.

"Nancy with the laughing face . . ."

Our family is BRCA2 positive so screenings for breast and ovarian cancer are very important for us.

We discovered our genetic mutation when we lost our sister, Nancy, to ovarian cancer.  This picture is difficult to look at but, having cancer is more than difficult.  I miss my sister every day.

Cheryl & Nancy

Please don't take a chance. Get screened for women's cancers and share any symptoms with your doctor, even if they seem silly. Nancy's symptoms mimicked menopause so she waited.  Then it was too late.  Here is Nancy's ovarian cancer story in her own words.

the bumper sticker on Nancy's VW

These are the symptoms of ovarian cancer.

Please take a few minutes to read them

I try not to get political on this blog but I can't discuss women's health without mentioning the elephant in the room:  the attempts by a growing number of state legislatures to ban safe, legal abortion. 

Graduating from college in 1969, I grew up before Roe v. Wade.  I clearly remember horror stories of friends who became pregnant and had no options. If your family had money, you could fly to Europe for an abortion; if your family was poor or middle class, there was no safe option. Lives were ruined and families were torn apart.  Women can't get complacent. We simply CAN'T GO BACK THERE!

I was brought up Catholic. But I am firmly PRO-CHOICE. Who better to decide on such a private matter than a woman, her doctor, and, if she chooses, her clergy person? Certainly not a male politician who has never met her and does not know her medical, emotional and financial situation.

If my special needs daughter got pregnant it would literally kill her. Who should decide then?  Her family . . .  or her Congressman?  For me the choice is simple.

As a Mom, grandmother and retired teacher, this meme makes a lot of sense to me:

As women, we need to start talking - and  really listening - to our bodies, and to each other.

Jell-O Girls

I found this book, wrapped tightly in its corrugated Amazon sleeve, peeking out of the snow on my front porch one day in early January. Upon opening it, I saw that it was from a very old friend (and former sister-in-law!) of mine who is now an Open-And-Affirming UCC minister. We are both Boomers who grew up in similar somewhat dysfunctional middle-class households, went to college together, and became family a long time ago. We both endured difficult childhoods and have spent years trying to figure our respective mothers out. I knew the minute I read the back cover why Carolyn had sent this book to me.

I've been dealing with some personal issues since last Fall, so I put off opening the book. I wasn't sure I was emotionally ready to read it, or anything potentially autobiographical, just yet. The book, you see, is a memoir ("memwah") - the story of three generations of mothers and daughters. Somehow that is all woven into a feminist version of the evolution of Jell-O that actually makes sense as the story develops.   
    

I had no idea that I was about to be pulled into a narrative that would make me cry and haunt me for days. Nor did I realize as I grabbed my yellow highlighter to mark a sentence I wanted to remember, that I'd be underlining so many sentences that it would eventually border on ridiculous. I had intended to highlight the parts of the book I didn't want to forget—which turned out to be almost everything.

"I have read many feminist tomes in my life, non-fiction and opinion. I have read family stories linked to true history. Never before though, have I read a book that deftly combines American history, family love and trauma linked to that history, and all wrapped up with a social malady that affects everyone. As an aging second gen feminist, I thank you Allie Rowbottom, from the depths of my heart." ~Vicki L. Burnham

"Beautiful, brave and poignant memoir. I read the entire work in a single sitting. I was riveted and heartbroken by the patriarchal parameters that suppressed the women of Rowbottom's maternal line, but uplifted by the positive, if gradual change that occurred over the generations (interwoven with and mirrored by Jell-O's marketing and how the company depicted women and the work of meal preparation over the decades.) The author releases her mother and grandmother -women with stories they burned to tell- from their oppressive silence, by sharing the truth of their lives." 

~Francis Fairman 

The fact that this book mirrors issues in the lives of Carolyn, myself, and many other women "of a certain age" is made even more ironic by the fact that Carolyn and I have always had the tradition of one of us serving her mother's "Jello-O Salad" on every holiday we share. Here it is - I kid you not!

It was my turn to make it this Christmas.

 (It seems that we were "Jell-O girls long before the publication of this book.)

As a retired English teacher, I've always dreamed of writing a memoir. I've actually started a few and never finished. Maybe now I won't have to. Because, although the details are not exactly the same, the soul of Mary's story is mine. The theme of my memoir is here, in Jell-O girls.

Maybe Carolyn's is too.

The Jell-O Girls

This book knocked me over. 

This post is linked to:
Happiness Is Homemade Link Party # 256 at  Bluesky at Home
Best of the Weekend Link Party at Calypso In the Country
Amaze Me Monday #300 at Dwellings
J & J Link Up #178 at Plucky's Second Thought
Inspire Me Tuesday #487 at A Stroll Through Life
Feathered Nest Friday at French Country Cottage