Saturday, November 23, 2013

Mothers & Daughters

As a woman in my 60's, I feel fortunate to still have my Mom.
But she can also make me crazy.  
What is it about the mother/daughter relationship that makes it so full of both love and landmines?


I think there is some kind of secret non-verbal language between mothers and daughters. Sometimes that's a loving language; other times it can be hurtful. I'm finding that now that my Mom is very elderly and I find myself in a caretaker role, the two are beginning to blur.


 

I wonder if there is some kind of a mother-daughter bell curve at work...maybe in old age the mother-daughter relationship reverts to the way it was when we were teenagers, with all the friction and angst between mother and daughter reappearing after the relative calmness of middle age.


 
Some days are more are difficult for my Mom than others. Yesterday was unexpectedly difficult so I guess I just needed to vent. I'm working on being more patient and understanding so that Mom and I can enjoy the holidays together without killing each other.
 
 Have you cared for an elderly parent?
What have you learned?




4 comments:

  1. Cheryl, so well said. As a woman in my 60's also I too have this difficult relationship with my Mom. I'm trying so hard but at times it seems impossible. Then I just pray I am easier for my girls to deal with when I am old(er). Sending you hugs!

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  2. I have the same issues - now, with my dad, as Mom is in a nursing home with dementia. But before that, we had problems, as well! I love her dearly but we sometimes rubbed each other the wrong way. I think it's hard with moms and daughters and that never goes away.

    xo
    Claudia

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  3. I am chuckling ( and bookmarking your blog...I am glad that you visited me so that I found you! :)

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  4. I am 56 and so feeling your blog! I am bookmarking your blog and so glad I visited you... my mom's family all native new englanders and I am also lucky to have both my parents still alive at this tiem of my life (though my dad just beginning to show slight dementia after series of mini-strokes past year). Yes, mother and daughter relationships can 'rub the wrong way' but aren't we blessed too that we still have our Moms? I am ....

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