|Bob (left) as a Cub Scout, 1950's|
|Bob's HS Graduation 1964|
The tears catch up to me at unexpected times. In fact, having tears over the loss of my ex is unexpected all by itself. I thought I'd already grieved the loss of this man when he left, many, many years ago. Do I have to grieve for him all over again? It seems that I do.
Families don't know what to do with divorced spouses so it's an odd place to find myself. I'm grieving and yet I have no place in this, except to stay out of it. My adult son is in Chicago with Bob's family, which is as it should be. My grown daughter has disabilities and is not able to understand what has happened. As the ex-spouse, I don't expect to get calls from friends, sympathy cards, or casseroles left on the doorstep. I'm grieving alone . . . for memories of long-ago Kennebunkport summers and the wonder of first love.
|With our son, 1973|
And if you are remarried, take it from me, crying over the death of another man in front of your current spouse feels pretty weird. Thankfully, my DH of the past 26 years is the most amazing guy. He not only understands but has been right there to support me when I've cried for Bob, or cried for my children on the loss of their father. But again, there are no precedents here; we're just finding our way through it as best we can.
|Bob, with my DH, Hank (center), and his BFF Bruce (right) , at our son's wedding.|
|Bob (right) with his sister, Carolyn, and brother, Larry|
|DH Hank & I|