Saturday, February 2, 2019

Jell-O Girls

I found this book, wrapped tightly in its corrugated Amazon sleeve, peeking out of the snow on my front porch one day in early January. Upon opening it, I saw that it was from a very old friend (and former sister-in-law!) of mine who is now an Open-And-Affirming UCC minister. We are both Boomers who grew up in similar somewhat dysfunctional middle-class households, went to college together, and became family a long time ago. We both endured difficult childhoods and have spent years trying to figure our respective mothers out. I knew the minute I read the back cover why Carolyn had sent this book to me.


I've been dealing with some personal issues since last Fall, so I put off opening the book. I wasn't sure I was emotionally ready to read it, or anything potentially autobiographical, just yet. The book, you see, is a memoir ("memwah") - the story of three generations of mothers and daughters. Somehow that is all woven into a feminist version of the evolution of Jell-O that actually makes sense as the story develops.   
    
I had no idea that I was about to be pulled into a narrative that would make me cry and haunt me for days. Nor did I realize as I grabbed my yellow highlighter to mark a sentence I wanted to remember, that I'd be underlining so many sentences that it would eventually border on ridiculous. I had intended to highlight the parts of the book I didn't want to forget—which turned out to be almost everything.


"I have read many feminist tomes in my life, non-fiction and opinion. I have read family stories linked to true history. Never before though, have I read a book that deftly combines American history, family love and trauma linked to that history, and all wrapped up with a social malady that affects everyone. As an aging second gen feminist, I thank you Allie Rowbottom, from the depths of my heart." ~Vicki L. Burnham

"Beautiful, brave and poignant memoir. I read the entire work in a single sitting. I was riveted and heartbroken by the patriarchal parameters that suppressed the women of Rowbottom's maternal line, but uplifted by the positive, if gradual change that occurred over the generations (interwoven with and mirrored by Jell-O's marketing and how the company depicted women and the work of meal preparation over the decades.) The author releases her mother and grandmother -women with stories they burned to tell- from their oppressive silence, by sharing the truth of their lives." 
~Francis Fairman 

The fact that this book mirrors issues in the lives of Carolyn, myself, and many other women "of a certain age" is made even more ironic by the fact that Carolyn and I have always had the tradition of one of us serving her mother's "Jello-O Salad" on every holiday we share. Here it is - I kid you not!


It was my turn to make it this Christmas.
 (It seems that we were "Jell-O girls long before the publication of this book.)


As a retired English teacher, I've always dreamed of writing a memoir. I've actually started a few and never finished. Maybe now I won't have to. Because, although the details are not exactly the same, the soul of Mary's story is mine. The theme of my memoir is here, in Jell-O girls.


Maybe Carolyn's is too.
The Jell-O Girls

This book knocked me over. 



This post is linked to:
Happiness Is Homemade Link Party # 256 at  Bluesky at Home
Best of the Weekend Link Party at Calypso In the Country
Amaze Me Monday #300 at Dwellings
J & J Link Up #178 at Plucky's Second Thought
Inspire Me Tuesday #487 at A Stroll Through Life
Feathered Nest Friday at French Country Cottage

9 comments:

  1. Oh my,I will have to get this book. I also have very emotional issues with family (especially my Mother) and have been dealing with much of it through therapy this past year. So many of us grew up in this generation that saw so much change but we had anchors in the past that kept us from fully being who we could be. It is so good to know I am not alone in this!!

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    1. Hi Linda,
      We've always seemed to have so much in common. I've been in therapy this year too and it is helping. Reading this book, and hearing from you, make me hopeful that others have coped successfully with past trauma and come out stronger for it. You're definitely not alone in this. I'd love to hear from you again once you've read Jell-O Girls! Hang in there! ~Cheryl

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  3. Cheryl,
    Sounds like a great book and one I would enjoy as I also had a Love-Hate relationship with my mother....Thanks so much for stopping by and for your thoughts on the subject of blogging.I will be doing a follow up post sharing many of the comments that were left here... Thanks again!
    hugs,
    Debbie

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    1. Thanks for visiting, Debbie. I have followed your blog for a long time and always enjoy your holiday decor. I love the fact that you are NOT Farmhouse - a refreshing change! Definitely read Jell-O Girls - I think you will relate to much of it. It really shook me. I've added "Debbie-Dabble" to my blog roll! Have a great week . . . Cheryl

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  4. I REMEMBER JELLO , ALMOST AT EVERY MEAL AS A SIDE DISH OR A DESSERT. IN OUR 20 SOMETHINGS, MY SISTER AND I HAD JELLO COMPETITIONS AS IN WHO COULD CREATE THE MOST EXOTIC JELLO PRESENTATION. HEY, IT WAS INEXPENSIVE AND FESTIVE. I HAVE NOT READ JELL-O GIRLS AND MAY NOT BECAUSE I CANNOT RELATE TO THE UNFORTUNATE MOTHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS THAT YOU ALL HAVE SHARED. I WAS BLESSED WITH A PRECIOUS MOTHER AND FATHER AND I AM SO GRATEFUL. MY HEART WITH ALL OF YOU, ESP MY BESTIE, CHERYL.

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    1. Thanks, M.E. You were so lucky to have the relationship you had with your Mom. I think no matter what our childhoods were like, we all have Jell-O memories!

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  5. Hi Cheryl, this is my first visit to your sweet blog and glad I came. Your post caught my eye on J&J's blog hop, mainly because I collect old Jello pamphlets, but now I realize this book might be written for me, too. I join the club of difficult Mother/daughter relationships and being a child of the 50's it seems there are lots of us. Going to get the book and read it when I am feeling strong. Thanks for sharing. New follower. xx Karen

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  6. Hi Beatrice, So glad to have you visit my blog! Aside from the mother/daughter relationships in this book, there really is a lot of interesting historical information about Jell-O. I know that sounds crazy but the women in the story were descendants of the man who "invented" jello and jello is used as a symbol throughout the book of the changing roles of women. As a fellow 50's child, I know you will find meaning in this book; I thought it was almost life changing. Thanks so much for following; I hope we can remain in touch. I want to hear what you thought of Jell-O Girls after you've read it. ~Cheryl

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